If you scroll down, you’ll notice my last blog post was in July. Why? I’ve spent the past 6 months afraid and procrastinating. But today’s the day. Today’s the day I break out of my shell and go for it on the subway. In a few hours, I will get on a New York City subway car and give away a $100 to complete strangers — thank you Secret Society of Creative Philanthropy.
I’m so excited! And so nervous!
I’ve been writing and rehearsing a whole speech and song-and-dance for hours. What I wouldn’t give to turn that subway car into a dance party. Oh, Subway Gods if you’re listening — infuse my subway care with the spirit to boogie down and get a little crazy.
I’m a native New Yorker, and I like to Yap.I Yap all day long. I’m a sales guy, and its my job.But I also Yap in public - on the subway, on the bus, on the street. I’m that guy who asks you what book you’re reading, what instrument you’re carrying, how your day is going.Some people look at me like I’m crazy. But most people don’t. Actually, most people seem pretty relieved to have someone to talk to, to have a reason to look up from their newspapers and cell phones and ipods and just talk.About 3 months ago, I started my own social experiment - to talk on every subway ride I took just to see what would happen. And some pretty amazing things took place.I met a guy who sells DVDs from a backpack and we compared sales techniques (gotta be friendly and persistent. Gotta read your customer). A guy standing next to us got curious, and he made a sale right there.Today I met the CEO of OutMusic who’s producing the first Out Music Awards show since 2007, and we exchanged business cards.I met a guy on his way to a major college entrance exam and helped him stay calm and be focused.So I started thinking - what if there was a way to symbolize to people that I’m open to talking. That if they want to connect with someone, meet someone new, change their commuting experience, that I’m here and on the same page.And what about other people who feel the same way that I do? That New York is one of the most diverse cities on earth, but that we never really get to know people outside of our little circles? And that the subway - what could the great melting pot of the city - is perhaps the biggest missed opportunity of all.NewYapCity is for people who have a different vision of New York, who know that just because everyone else accepts silence and averted eyes and cold mass transit faces, that they don’t have to.NewYapCity is for people who want more out of their city and aren’t afraid to say it.
At Morgan Stanley, my claim to fame was doing calisthenics in the office, jumping jacks, tuck-and-rolls, even a headstand one conference room birthday celebration. At Register.com, I fist pump during promising biz dev calls and shout the wrong lyrics to songs across the office.
Am I self-sabotaging or improving morale? Clearly, I’d prefer to think the latter, but the first question is the one I think more professionals struggle with. Can I really just be myself at work? Can I express my emotions, be “out there,” and still be taken seriously.
I believe the answer is yes, but it’s a delicate balance between self-expression and professional demeanor. My personal rule for sharing my true self: keep it positive.
People respond to emotion. Even in a business setting, as much as we try to insulate ourselves against others’ ups and down, it sticks. During the work day, our input filters are working hard; we only take in the very narrowest amount of stimulus. The vast majority of the noises, fine print, overheard conversations that wash over us do not penetrate our conscious attention but do nonetheless affect us. So if I’m going to draw attention to myself and penetrate my coworkers’ filters, I want that impression to be a positive one.
Is Office Me Real Me? Probably not. I choose my moments and pay attention to my surroundings to know when to tone it down. But I like to get pumped up, and life’s too short not to share the love. My advice: go for that tuck-and-roll.
