Thank you for being curious about me. I’m curious about you.
I intend to make a better About page, but it feels like the hardest thing in the world. I really don’t want to just list my accomplishments or show pictures of the Challah I bake for people every Friday.
Yes, I’m unemployed right now, and I want to produce income, but I’m exhausted by the boring ways I know how to do that.
Yes, I can sell the shit out of something when I’m motivated. But how do I get motivated to sell shit when the stock market and my wife keep making me richer?
Yes, I build movements and companies. I’m also a porn addict.
I have white skin. I’m a Jew. I used to think I was a heterosexual man. But I’m increasingly sure I’m a pansexual polyamorist in a long-term happy and monogamous marriage.
I was sexually, spiritually and emotionally abused as a teenager.
I have 2 amazing children who I love SOOOOO much and who are watching so much TV while I write this.
I’m tired of holding my thoughts in. I’m tired of anticipating all the ways you’ll judge me. I’m disappointed I never just put what I’m about out there.
I’m tired of worrying about being embarrassed. I’m tired of the (hopefully just paranoid) fear that if I say what’s on my mind they’ll use that to justify imprisoning and torturing me.
I’m also tired of not putting my thoughts out there because ultimately it’ll just be my mom consuming my art … again.
I’m starved for self-expression.
I have such high hopes for humanity. And I feel so ignored by you.
AND I’m looking for a way to just turn me inside out regardless of whether you see me or what you think of the products of my being.
Every time, I’ve tried something like this in the past, I found a way to give up.
I’m so tempted to succumb to my inner scaredy-cat. But maybe, just maybe, at the ripe old age of 40 I can find a way to let myself be who I am. And let you have a piece of me. And then find a way to get to know you in a way that’s awesome.